Communicatng for Love

Another blogger invited me to write a post of relationship advice and my favorite recipe. Here's what I wrote:

Communication is a key ingredient in all relationships, but particularly so in male-female romantic relationships. Most women have accepted that men and women think, interact and process information very differently, but we still tend to feel there is something wrong with it. I know I certainly have felt this way in the past. The newsflash is that different is just different.

So my first tip is this: accept that it is okay that we as women do things a certain way and men do things another. Tip number two is if he has done something that is driving you crazy, consider that he may have no idea why his behavior would drive you crazy or even that it has. Ask him why he is doing it and you may be surprised at his reasoning.

You know how we can talk to our girlfriend on the phone, dispense advice, direct child traffic and cook dinner at the same time? Ever notice how your husband or boyfriend can’t seem to watch football and listen to you vent at the same time? I know, it’s annoying but he isn’t less smart than you. No, there is a very different explanation for this.

Men are single-focused which makes them excellent hunters who can track an animal relentlessly for hours. While we have what’s called diffused awareness. This difference tends to make us great at multi-tasking. Tip number three is don’t ask him to pay attention to you and the football game. Agree upon a time when he is not doing something else so that you can gain his full attention.

Finally, if it is love you’re looking for then do not try to trade sex for it. Be yourself, be passionate, be confident and if he is Mr. Right you will find yourself basking in that delightful laser-like attention so characteristic of a single-focused man.


Soul2soul (A recipe for love)

2 Bags of Southern Mixed Greens (I buy them at Trader Joe’s)
1 large yellow onion
2 cloves of fresh garlic
1 red, yellow or orange bell pepper
1 pound of spicy chicken sausage (you may substitute andouille or chorizo)
1 quart of chicken broth
1 tablespoon of extra virgin olive oil (or substitute your favorite vegetable oil)
1 large non-stick skillet or wok
1 large saucepan

Chop onion & garlic finely, slice bell pepper into small strips, and heat olive oil in wok and Sautee the vegetable mix. Do not caramelize. Add in rinsed greens and cook until wilted (not fried or browned). Slice sausage and add greens and vegetables to the saucepan along with the chicken broth. Simmer mixture until greens are tender to taste. Serve on your best china with a lovely chilled Santa Margherita Pinot Grigot or Frances Coppolla Chardonnay. You may add brown or basmati rice and/or corn muffins. Bon apetit.

I Believe In Music, I Believe In Love

Music and love, two things I believe in and so does Jennifer Hudson. Tonight she sang those words alive in my soul. She sang those words moving me to tears and to join her in singing them.

My sister, also a singer like me, treated me to the fabulous soul stirring spectacle of Jennifer Hudson and Robin Thicke in concert. Mr. Robin "White Chocolate" Thicke was certainly entertaining and soulful. But Jennifer Hudson was a force to be reckoned with, showering her music and her love upon us her loving audience.

The tide of the emotion, the pure energy of the flow of feelings was palpable. I could hardly keep my eyes dry. This powerful young woman was basking in her healing and she was inviting us, no, more than that, she was drawing us in to the circle of that healing. We all came out the other side sanctified.

Music and love. Two names for that limitlessness which we call God.

Amen. Thank you, Miss Hudson.

Planetary Missions

In speaking with a very close friend of mine tonight we were discussing the work that I am doing right now and the light of synchronicity shined brightly.

I recently shared with my friend that I am producing a wonderfully transformative Internet reality show. Act 2: Reinvent follows women in their forties who are working to reinvent themselves. In fact, I will personally deal with some major life changing goals in the first season of the show.

As we conversed my friend asked me what I intended to achieve with the show's Dream Team of Coaches. In particular, we spoke about my desire to create a brand as an inspirational lecturer/performer. My friend is the Queen Bee of Inquiry and her question was what do you want to do with it? My answer: to inspire.

As it happens my friend has been involved in a transformational project of her own for the past year. As part of her process she was required to identify her purpose/mission on the planet. Once she did she had to appoint a Board of Directors to support her in that purpose.

My friend had chosen me as the Chairman of her Board of Directors because I have always supported her ideas not just as dreams but as viable realities. I have held her accountable for the deliverables of her ideas. In short, I have been an inspiration to her.

What an incredible feeling to know that my planetary purpose is being affirmed even when I am unaware of it. What a warm and virbrant feeling to knw the impact that my support has been to my friend.

Dream Team or Board of Directors? Either way, your planetary mission and mine must be honored and executed.

The Dream Team

Orchestrating a reality show is quite a project! Momentum is building and we have a stellar group of experts who have responded to the call. I am excited to begin filming in the next couple of weeks.

We can never have too many film crews, so if there are film students out there looking for a project or new producers looking to build their portfolios...please reach out to me.

Dream Team for New Reality Show

Imagine having the courage to give your greatest gift, having the courage to care for your soul instead of finding false security in doing something for a living that slowly kills you inside. Imagine inspiring and motivating others by inviting them to share that journey with you.

I am currently creating a dream team of experts to help someone transform her life in a new, transformational internet reality show. This is an opportunity for experts in life coaching, fitness & nutrition, image consulting, vocal & performance coaching, artist management, publicity & marketing to be on board at the beginning of a fantastic journey.

Find out more about the project by contacting me with your particular area of expertise as well as your contact information. leahunlimited at gmail.com.

Thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving was a true blessing in many ways. My Father is experiencing mysterious health issues which seem to point to something no one wants but nothing's been confirmed as yet. He wanted to visit his favorite aunt, my great aunt Beatrice in Milwaukee. I was the designated driver on the trip, determined to stay the night at my cousin's place since my great aunt has little room for overnight guests. Alas, I was seduced by my great aunt to stay the night, she's very persuasive:-).

My cousin Darlene, Aunt Bea's granddaughter stopped by on Thanksgiving. What a joy she is. Darlene is a fighter. She has braved a cancer diagnosis that had her dead at least two years ago. But still Darlene not only lives but thrives. She inspires me. Maybe she will inspre you too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpWo9bRv_QQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0I2AvHN_6qM

No, Men Are Not Stupid!

Admit it, we’ve all been guilty of thinking that men are stupid on more than one occasion. But, the reality is that men are wonderful creatures who simply are different than women. Different is not right or wrong, value judgment only muddies the waters and disempowers everyone. Different is just different. We‘re wired differently and so we behave differently. Understanding and acceptance can help empower us to create harmonious relationships.

Both men and women certainly have characteristics commonly described as masculine and feminine. But, in general what motivates us is distinct. This terrain is vast, but for now let’s look at one of the source distinctions that differentiate men from women instinctively.

Imagine, for the sake of argument, that men are the hunters and that women are the gatherers. Let’s look at how men and women think, process information and communicate.

Hunters are typically single focused. Their objective is to produce a desired result, for instance, catching a buffalo or some other animal. Their focus is linear, aimed at producing result after result after result. Hunters are internally motivated, deciding on what to produce and then producing that result. These characteristics coalesce as the ability to track moving objects.

Contrastingly, Gatherers possess diffuse awareness, the ability to focus in multiple directions at once. Their objective is to complete many tasks in no particular order. Motivation is most often external, resulting in the experience of being drawn to everything in the environment which requires a response. These characteristics fuse into the ability to quickly scan a wide area and gather information.

Think about the last time you sent a man into a room to bring back an item that was in plain view yet surrounded by other things and he came back with the report that the item was not there. You followed him and of course, the item was right where you said it was. You concluded that he just didn’t look. And he didn’t look just to get on your nerves or alternatively, he was just too stupid and careless to see what was right in front of him.

Or what about the last time you tried to get a guy to focus on you while he was watching his favorite television show? You think he was watching the game and ignoring you. In reality, he is just watching the game. Ignoring you would be doing a second thing.

So, what’s the point? The point is that this is but one of the ways that we are different from men, but it is a key difference which causes many communication breakdowns. We naturally view things from our own perspective; everyone does. But in order to interact harmoniously, we have to step back and see things from another vantage point.

What male behavior can you view from another vantage point?

Your comments are always welcome. Email them to me at Chat (@) relationship-recruiters.com. I’ll write back as time permits.